For Men

She told you that she is pregnant, and now your world has slowly come to a stop. You’re scared, fearful, and possibly angry. You don’t have to be. You are not alone, there is hope, and you can learn to be the best dad you can be.

Do

✔LISTEN: The situation involves more than just you. There are now three lives to think about.

✔STAY CALM: She needs your support now more than ever. She may be carrying the baby, but you are BOTH parents, and regardless of your relationship in the future, that baby needs you too.

✔TALK ABOUT IT: Not only with each other, but prepare to talk with parents and others close to the situation. Hiding the news from people who can genuinely help you only increases the stress.

✔GATHER ALL THE FACTS:  Get all the information and seek wise counsel so you can make the best decision for all of you.

✔EXPRESS YOURSELF HONESTLY:  it’s normal to have feelings of anger, frustration and fear. But make sure she knows she is not alone.

Don’t

✖DON’T BAIL: The more you run from this, the harder it becomes to think and act clearly.

✖DON’T PRESSURE HER: Applying pressure will only push her away, possibly into a regretful situation. You will do well to work together as a team.

✖DON’T FORGET: You have a very active role in this situation. Listen to input as well as give your thoughts.

The goal of these efforts is long-term transformation: it’s not just about saving the baby, but raising the child, thereby increasing the probability that the cycle of unexpected pregnancy can be broken.